Kel Popp is 22 years of age. She lives in the United States, in South Dakota. In the future, she hopes to work in the caring profession, as a counsellor.
Kel, could you tell me a little about your upbringing? Where were you born? Were you from a close-knit/large family?
I was born into a big family. We are pretty close; my sisters are my best friends, and I know I can pretty much depend on my mom for anything. I was born in Pipestone, MN, in 1987.
Were you raised in a religious/spiritual tradition? If so, how important is/was it to you?
I was raised Catholic. My mother is very serious about her faith. I was for a large part of my life, but I hit a point where I decided I was not believing because I believed, I was believing because I thought it was the right thing to do. I consider myself somewhat agnostic.
How old were you when you first realised you had same-sex attractions?
I was actually quite young. I remember being a small child and getting crushes on girls. As I got older it never went away. However, I was raised to believe it was "not right" so I didn't do anything about it until recently.
Were the realisation of your same-sex feelings difficult to reconcile? Have you experienced any negativity because of your given sexual orientation?
Well, my whole life I have been told it's wrong to be in a same sex relationship, so growing up knowing that I'm attracted to women and men was confusing at times. . As I grew I tried hiding from it, like if I pushed it away I would forget about it. Obviously that's not how it works. I have received negativity in the sense that I have lost a couple friends due to my sexuality. I have also lost respect from my mother, which can be painful at times.
Are you more physically or emotionally driven to one gender over another?
At times I jokingly refer to myself as a bisexual lesbian, but in all honesty, there are things about each gender I am more attracted to than the other. So I would say that my attraction is pretty much equal.
There's a lot of minsinformation about bisexuals floating about, which myths do you hear most often and what's the best way to quash them?
I hear a lot of lines such as, "bisexuals need to make up their minds," "you're either gay, or you are straight, there is no in between," and my favorite is "bi's are sex addicts." I can assure you none of those are true (well, maybe for some people, but the actual answer to true bisexuality is not defined by any of the above statements). I'm not confused, I am attracted to both genders - and that doesn't mean that every single person I see I want to pounce on. It simply means I'm attracted to some people of each gender. I feel the best way to squash it is to realize that not everybody is the same, and just because we don't totally understand something whether it be that we are not going through it or just plain don't agree with it, we should have more respect for people than that.
Where do you think biphobia comes from and have you ever experienced it?
I honestly feel like biphobia is like pretty much anything else that people do not like, they don't understand it, so they hate it. Take math for example, I am horrible at understanding it, so I hate it. This is how I view things like people disliking me for my orientation. I have experienced it - one of my best friends from childhood (we were best friends up until recently) found out that I am bisexual and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Just as if I had changed over-night. It hurt, but it's also a blessing. You find out who your true friends are.
Can you remember the first person you came out to? Was it something you planned?
The first person I came out to was my older sister in my freshman (first) year of college. I didn't plan it. I was chatting with her, and it just came out. She was cool about it, however, just like the rest of my sisters.
Have you received any negative feedback from anyone you have come out to? Has your family been supportive of you?
I have had a couple of friends that want nothing to do with me anymore because of my sexuality. My sisters are cool about it, but my parents have a problem with it. They don't treat me differently, but they make sure to sneak it in conversations how "wrong" it is.
If someone was contemplating coming out, what advice would you give them?
Just be you. Forget about the rest of the world for a second and think of what makes you happy. Don't force it, it will come when it's ready.
What's the most valuable lesson you yourself have learned in life?
I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not. You can only fake it for so long.
You went to University....?
I started out my college track at St. Mary's University in Winona, MN, but then took a year off to figure life out. I still was not sure where I wanted to end up when it came down to it. I went back to school, the second time to Ave Maria University in Ave Maria, FL. The school is beautiful, and has quite a few people, but is also very Catholic, and very phobic. I am not at a Technical Institute here in my town and I love it very much.
We met through the social networking site Pretty Pink Pearl, what drew you to the site? What do you like best/worst about it?
I actually saw an ad for it on Facebook, and thought I'd check it out. I didn't know at first that it was a GBLT site until I actually arrived to it. I thought this would be a great opportunity to perhaps connect with other people out there that went through the same everyday stuff as I did. I like it quite a bit, actually. There are a few things on there that I am not fond of, but really that's just a minor problem - people complaining about singledom; some people are fake (but you'll get that on anything on the internet).
Have you ever been to Pride? What does pride mean to you? How important is it to live as yourself?
I have never been to Pride, but I hope to go someday! I feel it's very important to live as yourself. I think it kind of goes back to the saying I said before, "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not." It's so true. Why go through life hiding who you are? If your friends won't accept you for you, then they aren't your friends.
Do you have any creative outlets? What do you do to relax?
I love to write poetry and songs. I also paint. Sometimes I get very inspired and just sit for a few hours at a time and paint or write. It's very relaxing, and it's a special way that I can just be.
What are you reading/listening to at the moment?
I don't get much time to read lately because of school, but I am loving Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown CD. I am also fond of Tegan and Sara, Regina Spektor and Flickerstick lately.
How would you describe yourself in 5 words?
Passionate, Insightful, Emotional, Kind, Addicted
Any heroes/heroines?
I IDOLIZE Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day. There is so much about him that I just admire. He's a strong guy, he's gone through a lot of junk, but when it comes down to it, he is still level-headed and seems rather family oriented. Pretty awesome. Also, he's bisexual. LOL
What is your favourite movie?
My favorite movie is Mary Poppins.
Describe your ideal date?
I like casual things, like dinner and a movie, or hanging out listening to music. I think things like that have a lot more potential to be romantic, than something like you see in the movies. I think a kiss goodnight is ok, if you like each other after the date is over, too. LOL
What are your future plans?
I hope to finish out this school year and perhaps go back to school after. I would like to be in a care-type profession such as nursing or counseling. I haven't made my mind up yet, for sure, but since I'm not tied down it's easier to decide.
Where would you most like to live/vacation?
I love Canada a lot. I would also love to go visit the U.K. and Ireland. I have had this desire since childhood to live there. However, I think a visit would be just as nice. :)
Thank you Kel for a great interview, it's been brilliant. I really appreciate the time you've taken out to be involved with this project.
(This interview is from September 2009).
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